Is CHEESE Racist?

there is a popular sub shop in central nj, so popular there are two locations. Occasionally I enjoy a good sub there and one of my favorites is a simple turkey and cheese. but not any cheese – yellow american, in particular, is my favorite combination with turkey. plain, simple, no frills, no lettuce, no tomatoes, just mayo, salt, pepper, turkey, cheese — yellow cheese.

                over the course of years, every time I go to this sub shop there is no yellow american cheese, only white american cheese and white american just doesn’t have the flavor profile that I enjoy with turkey. Now I love all cheese, a lot. A whole lot. But I don’t care for white american because it doesn’t really taste like anything. maybe I’ve never had white american cheese on the appropriate food item to bring out its (in my opinion) rather bland flavor? Who knows? Either way, because it doesn’t enhance anything for me, I don’t include it on anything. So there we have it.

                after years of settling for an uninspiring turkey sandwich from this sub shop, the next time I went there I told myslef, ‘You know, every time I come here they never have yellow american cheese and I don’t want to settle anymore because I really want what I want. So, if they don’t have it – again – I’m not coming here anymore’. I figured they just always ran out and by the time I got there they were out of it. Even though I always went in the afternoon around lunch time? But I never really thought that deeply about it.

                so I enter the sub shop, wait my turn, ask for a turkey and yellow american cheese and they told me, as usual, they only have white american. So I asked, ‘are you OUT of it?’ to which the woman said “We only have white american”, so me trying to understand why the deli place doesn’t have yellow cheese, which I thought was the most basic cheese there is, I questioned further… ‘I really want turkey with yellow american. Do you EVER have yellow american cheese in stock? to which she replied “We only have white american”.


actually it took me back like that guy eating his favorite childhood dish from the movie Ratatouille, only I didn’t flash back to a happy place in my childhood, I flashed back to a scene from the comedic movie “Life” with Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence: “White Only Pies”

“These are white only pies” a woman told the duo who walked into a diner where negroes were not welcome.

“We only have white american”

…*sigh*…. really? are we doing this? this is what we’ve come to? what, yellow cheese is too “asian” for you? [I didn’t say any of this, nor did I feel slighted since I live in a thriving food district]

so I said ‘oh I really wanted yellow, oh well thanks’….and left

thanks but no thanks. you know, I’m perfectly fine spending my money someplace a little more “cheese friendly”.

from the movie: ‘’Well how far is the nearest rest stop? … 35 miles!”

well I don’t live in a remote place in the country so I don’t have to go 35 miles to get to the nearest deli shop, maybe 2, so I’m very thankful I have options.

                i believe we’re better than this. I have noticed sometimes black people going a little too far perhaps with “black everything” in an effort to appreciate our culture even more…black car, black clothes, black on black on black. While to each his own, I know we can appreciate our respective cultures without bringing food and other inanimate items into the equation…cant we? I mean why does cheese have to suffer? Isn’t yellow cheese American too? I mean asserting your power with white on white on white….lawdy. oh lawdy. oh well, I guess if black people can do it…..

i think we (humans) are just a wee bit sensitive once we start bringing colored items into the equation. maybe we’re just a little sensitive, once we start claiming all “black” items that exist in the world as ours and white people start claiming all “white” items that exist in the world as theirs.

i mean with that philosophy they must love when it snows, because I guess that means they have God’s blessing since its snowing “white” from the heavens…

and a black person could argue “Well God blesses us every single night with a black sky but now the white people try to take whats rightfully ours by infusing our black sky with white light…

yes, im being facetious

and I really, really hope no one is offended by the references above

because I do not want to offend anyone. I honor everyone in love

But sometimes we just have to laugh at our own behavior.

I desire us all to be a little less sensitive.

and its not just because I want a good turkey and cheese sammich.

its because if we can stop looking outside of ourselves for “power” and “justice”

and we begin to look within ourselves at the power we already possess within our God Given dna,

we will be so much happier

because that is where our power lies

within each and every one of us

and within our unity together

Much love to all of the white people and all of the black people who feel the need to surround themselves with colored items to define their self-worth and value.

I see you, I value you and I love you. you are truly powerful, no matter what shade of cheese you are.

#onelove, #onehumanity, #thepowerisinthepeople

P.S. I invite you to take the journey within by listing 5 things you absolutely LOVE about yourself and just One step you can take to improve your own life. We are both the Masterpiece and the Work In Progress At the Same Time. Let’s work on Progress Together ♥

Rest to Success: Zen Momentum

The Premise Behind this mental health break is “Take this job and shove it” very nicely, “you know where”

and in the process of moving toward That goal: I will fully Acknowledge and Embrace the Reality that I Design My Life

(As an adult, I have FULL CONTROL over the things I WILL and will not do. This means, in no uncertain certain terms, I walked up in this b*tch and I can walk the f*k up out!) ok. Now that That has been established – I have the urge to JUMP, yes, but let’s be practical here, If I Have to Jump – and I Have To – I will bring a parachute with me, I will study ‘how to’ exactly jump, and maybe bring a snack? yeah I’ll do my due diligence so that the Jump will be less daunting.

Enter in my ASAP need for a break RIGHT NOW!!! revealed to me as I loudly banged on the cabinet at the desk I sat at in the belly of the beast. TOTALLY out of character for me! but *A Sign* so I took it…

Today starts my Zen Momentum: 7 Days of Bliss, I Design My Life. Rest to Success – NO KIDS ALLOWED Edition

What exactly is this exotic tangle of wordage?

I fully recognize the life sucking soul devouring j.o.b. I’ve been working and the need to move on to Greener pastures. For me, this will mean moving onto entrepreneurship of some sort. I must work from home and I must do the things I enjoy doing. Until then, I will not take on another soul zapping j.o.b. I will patiently work toward my goals. Now is the time to Embrace the Now.

working in the belly of the beast is f’n exhasut-ING and when I get home I am exhaust-ED. I work on my spiritual refinement each day but it is abundantly clear to actively Work toward fulfilling my soul’s desires to be FREE. I mean, we all have to work/struggle in some aspect, so why not do work that I enjoy?

So, I designed a beautiful Zen plan of [further] action that will be to both Rest and Success, that encompasses my mind, body and spirit because I’m doing what I love. BTW there is NO WAY to be unSuccessful at this, when you are honoring your soul’s desires.

and working toward my ultimate goal at the same time, which is to honor by soul’s desires All Day Long ♥

Day 1 –

                Before we get to day 1, actually I like to Prepare. I made a sign “MOM is CLOSED until further notice”

and on the flip side “You’re an “Adult” – Figure it Out”

and taped it to my door

ok yeah, no it didn’t work, but it put me in the right mindset.

Moving right along…I also prepped Exactly what I hoped to accomplish in this 7 days

Spirit      1. Emotional Mastery           because my peace of mind is my most important asset

Body      2. Stretch My Body             because my physical prowess is my most valuable asset

Body      3. Diet                          because my Health is my most valuable asset

Spirit      4. Plan your Exit Strategy              because my Soul is my Most Valuable Asset

Mind     5. Read Each Day                             because I like reading

Spirit      6. Look for Volunteer Opportunities    because I haven’t volunteered in a long time

Spirit     7. Start my new YT channel               because I want to express appreciation for people who feel unappreciated

That’s a lot to accomplish in only 7 days, so realistically I set to accomplish 1 Main thing that I absolutely Must get done on each of the days, while Focusing on fulfulling my daily spiritual routine that keeps me sane

I’m just chronicling this journey because it feeds my soul as I have the urge to write and this is helping me keep things focused and organized

I hope it helps someone else as well.

Tuesday Day 1:


Deep Breathing

Meditate with intention

Sun Salutation

Deep Stretch

Om Stretch


Hair/Skin/Nails Spa Day


Emotional Mastery Program


sacral chakra meditation




deep stretch

Recap of today

Welllllllllll…. it went well. Don’t forget, there is no way to fail at this as long as I’m honoring my soul.

So the kid I live with totally disregarded the “Mom is closed” sign from the moment I put it up and it seemed to encourage her even more to be in my space. That’s ok, I’ll just utilize the lock on my door next time.

I did my morning routine, then I escaped to the park for a beautiful walk in what turned out to be a very beautiful day. it was so peaceful. a lot of people out walking their dogs. One very tall and handsome man made a point to stare at me in the face as I basked in the sun, listening to my spiritual video, and said a pointed ‘hello’, to which I thought (damn I should have put chapstick on!) and then nicely said ‘Good morning’. it was a 36 minute walk. then back home to stretch.

So a note on the stretching – I reconfigured my living room into a Zen space so there is no couch. Instead, there is a foam floor covering over the hardwood floors, that we use to stretch and reflect and its super cozy. So cozy, Zoe, our rabbit roommate, claimed it as hers and doesn’t really want anyone else on it. She’s either pacing back and forth across the mat or standing on the corner of the mat the whole time I’m on it and sometimes, accidentally I’m sure, bites me while I’m in downward dog pose. Today though, aside from her marching over to the mat as soon as I got on it, she was pretty chill about letting me use it; she even went into her box and didn’t stare at me the entire time. SO I discovered the late morning is a good time to use the mat without being stalked or harassed or bitten. Good Discovery.

                So back to the stretching – it was a beautiful full body stretch from my scalp (massage) to my toes and then I took a nap and then the spirit moved me to start writing and then the spirit moved me to do a powerpoint presentation and then there were technical difficulties but it is all good. I deviated a bit from my week’s schedule but when energy flows in a given direction, I like to ride the wave. It’s more satisfying. I still have to do my emotional mastery program and “spa day” tonight but its only 9pm and also I feel really good about what I accomplished today. Zen day 1.  

Oh and I didn’t wake up at 5am. I left my cell phone outside my bedroom and woke up at 6am but it was still all good.

How could it not be?

I Love and I want You to Love.

Much Love,


Freedom v Slavery

True story:  There is a Unisex locker room at work. The female toilet was occupied. The male toilet door wide open and empty. Female A angrily bang on the female door yelling she had to pee and didnt believe in locking doors and angrily waited for the person occupying it to open up (the door was Not opened). Female B, in the same situation, simply walked into the unoccupied male bathroom, used the toilet and left. One suffered, One was free.

The Only difference between the 2 women was state of mind.

One frozen with rules, one liberated by her reality

Nothing is either good or bad but Thinking makes it so…

Do the Carebear Countdown

Last year sometime as I was cleaning house, I came across my gun application that I never filled out. For more than 2 decades (you know I havent aged past 32) I wanted a gun but last year – of all years – I decided I no longer wanted a gun. I was shocked myself, lol. But I realized that in order to redirect negative energies I had to Not be a part of that energetic flow.

The response to fear on Either side, the ‘Eager Beavers’ just waiting for an opportunity to discharge their unresolved emotions on society and the ‘Reactors’ who say “Oh yeah? Well if you come for me Im comin for you”  (I used to be a Reactor) set the stage for a showdown I did not want to participate in or encourage with my energies.

And yes I also realized the Puppeteers were pulling their puppet strings. You see, they dont care which side you’re on, as long as your fighting each other. Either way they win and we are the only ones to lose

This does not mean I feel guns are necessarily bad, Nor do I ascribe owners of guns to be bad people. I still believe in All rights, including the right to own a gun. What I pay attention to is the ENERGY behind the gun. For me, never having hunted for my own food nor wanting to practice just for the sake of sharp shooting And having zero fears surrounding Responsible gun ownership, my energy in wanting a gun was never positive energy nor was my idea of using it.
I think there’s a reason why I procrastinated all those years (I mean I literally downloaded new forms like every 5 years) and it wasn’t because I was scared, because I Never was.

I doubt I would have gotten rid of it too if I owned one, so Everything happens for a reason and I’m thankful for that. I also feel the Power of Controlling my emotions and moving with the flow of the universe (I always had a nose for the economic pulse). Where awareness goes, Energy flows, does it not?

I Respect the freedom for each person to make their own decision without judgement. For me, its the Exact same reason why I dont litter. I just dont want to live in that world so I won’t be a part of the problem and Ill definitely Not be controlled by the powers that be.

The picture below, of an All Lives Matter protestor and a Black Lives Matter protestor, was taken last year, I think, but Ill Never forget it. Two things happened here: 1. The guy BEing hugged was hyped up on negative energies, not even realizing why he was so angry, he admitted. The Hugger, Felt something in him told him this guy just needs a HUG, lol. And so it was.

If negative energy flows our way, we dont Have to hop on and go for a ride. We Can dodge it completely, bounce and rock with it, try to wrestle with it or… we can Transmute it. Isn’t that what the Care Bears Stare taught us? [throwback to the 80s] When things get bad enough, we don’t get mad, we get Determined! Determined to transmute the unwanted thing into something wanted by infusing our Love Energy with it. They locked arms, they Focused, they Concentrated their Attention and Did the Care Bear Countdown…5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Just a cartoon you say….well….

Yes, this was a fine representation of transmuting negative energy into Positive energy. Look at the crowds on either side spurring them on, bouncing and rocking until the THING just Squashed Both Sides.

What was the THING that is Powerful Enough to Overcome ALL of the Tension in the Crowd that day?

THAT is who We Are and THAT is the world I want to live in.

Much Love,

the Challenge: Be the Change

#bethechange, #bethechangeyouwanttoseeintheworld

Life After 40

Yes, there IS Life After 40. I mean really living, ENJOYING your life.

This is Act II of my life. Act I dealt with my upbringing, experiences as a young person, internal and emotional struggles and parenting. It also dealt with my attachment to the systems of religion and government authority in my life which i wholly bought into both and allowed to defined my life. But ACT II, which started around 2014 or so, before my daughter entered 7th grade middle school, Began when I decided to take my life back and start to Live for myself. I started to work on my bucket list. This list was created initially for after I was done being a parent, but as my daughter got older, I was moved to begin working the list since she needed me a LEETLE less. First item on the agenda? You’ll never guess…I wanted to be in a FLASH MOB. That’s right! A flash mob baby!!!! So I did. I started asking around and one of my coworker’s daughters actually was in one and gave me the name of the organization. IT WAS A BLAST!!! So much fun, so inspiring and I felt really proud of myself for finally doing something that I Loved other than “mommy” things. I couldn’t walk the next day – but it was bliss. That set me on this path, and its been slow and spotty, but there nonetheless. The path of Defining, Carving out the Pleasant side of life, following a passion, a dream, now a goal and Reality. This was the start for me as an adult Having Fun. That is possible, even for a tight assed, perfectionist, “nerdy”, OCD-having, hover parent such as myself.

Life is made to be Enjoyed, to follow our desires, the things that interest us and to have fun!!! Not just worry about how to make a living and how to pay bills. I AM still on this path and learning as I Go. I desire anyone who has not already begun, to Begin to Embrace life, Embrace Loving Yourself and to Have Fun in the Process.

Life is not over after 40, its just beginning…

What EXACTLY is KWANZAA ?!?!?!

You know, I pondered this question for years. I heard Kwanzaa was this “black” holiday but I’d never heard of it before and I didn’t know anyone else who did. No one seemed to know what it was, just something for “black people”. I tried and tried to understand but there was some kind of block. I would sit down to start reading about Kwanzaa and the next thing I knew I was done reading and when I tuned back in, I had no idea what Kwanza was <smh>. I even saw a movie on Kwanza once but the guy in the movie was so cute I just remember him. Still didn’t know what Quanza was. So I set out, as I often do, to discover EXACTLY WHY I could not comprehend what this holiday was all about…

     I gathered some info on Kwanza and set out to reading…

BOOOR-ING. snooze city. I was completely disinterested. I didn’t know what this was and it was boring, so I decided to learn about the founder instead.

Dr. Maulana Karenga (he has a doctorate in political science and in social ethics) developed this holiday as a way for american black people to pull away from american white culture and to have a holiday all their own. Some people feel like its “made up” – well Every holiday is “made up”. Made up just means people “made up” their mind to observe a given tradition from this point forward. Anyway, grossly disenfrachised from the wicked schemes against people of color in the 60’s (and before and after the 60s) there was a desire to disconnect from white society and to embrace our own holiday with its own traditions. In a nutshell that’s why it was founded.

HOWEVER, in keeping with the breaking away from white cultural hand me downs like names and religion, Dr. Karenga incorporated African language (specifically Swahili) and African foods and customs into the holiday to really make the point that we want to be separate from white america. its best for us to move forward with our own cultural vision of what our life should look like rather than deal with the put-upon social norms of a society that keeps blacks looking to whites for acceptance and never getting it.

Ok. motive established – a noble one.

I went back to learning about Kwanza with “FOCUS-FOCUS-FOCUS” in mind and I read the first day of Kwanza is Umoji..snooooooooooooze…AHA!!!!HA!!!Ahaha!!! that’s it !!! Caught myself fallin asleep again! I don’t know what “umoji” is and I’m not really interested in learning that language so Immediately I was lulled to sleep. OK! Allright. Umoji. Not working for me. Problem established. But how do I learn what Kwanza is?

Why not take out all the African language so its more clear to me and I don’t feel like I’m in a bad school classroom. So I took out umoji (which incidentally is swahili for unity) and I was left with the exact name of each of the 7 days of Kwanza:

day 1 – unity

day 2 – self determination

day 3 – cooperative economics

day 4 – collective work and responsibility

day 5 – purpose

day 6 – creativity

day 9 – faith

ok. makin progress here. I’m actually interested in these concepts. so I read about each one and I said ‘This is wonderful’ this is terrific! what’s all these colors and the other foreign stuff? And I began to replace the foods, attire and even the colors with my own culture’s food and observances. After all, the holiday is for “us” right? so why not make it more “us-relatable”.

I even changed the colors of “Africa” black, red, green with my corresponding preferred colors of choice: brown (for Earth), pink (for Love) and Sage green (because its just a peaceful color man). Now the colors that were chosen by Dr. Karenga have special meaning HOWEVER they did not have special meaning for me. For example, I acknowledge and hold dear the sacrifices my ancestral heritage afforded me – ALL of my ancestral heritage (not just the african part) but that does not mean I want the color red to remind me of people whose blood was shed. I prefer to learn about afro-american history and to enjoy my life and give back to my community as a means of expressing my understanding of where I came from. So I chose the color pink because if there is ONE thing among many, many things that I learned in Afro American history class, it was that the enslaved black people of the americas were filled with LOVE. L.O. V. E. Love for each other, Love for their life and Love for God. Filled to the BRIM. They made the BEST out of the WORST in every way, True Alchemists, Brilliant, Intelligent, Savvy, Caring and Resilient as a Mother-Fkr and I Love and Admire them for that. And that is how I choose to remember them, In All their Beauty, in All their Glory. It is that Love that runs through my veins today, that Strength, that Resiliency. And I am Blessed to have come from them. They paved the way for me, for us.

So Basically I culturally appropriated Kwanza to something I could relate to, something more in line with my own existing culture, not the culture I wish I was, but what I actually am right here, right now. That is american, not african, english-speaking not swahili speaking and um you don’t really expect me to give up soul food RIGHT? So instead of african food (I’m sure its yummy) but my culture’s food has special meaning for me. For example, hoe cakes, white pancake-shaped corn meal rounds cooked on a hoe because the slaves did not have pots, has more meaning for me because #1 they’re really good and #2 the resiliency tho…

So this Kwanza thing was working out – on paper anyway. I thought these principles were wonderful! I thought EVERYONE should celebrate Kwanza because this is how we should ALL be living – in accordance with these values. Truly Kwanza is a celebration of LIFE!!! and how we can enjoy it.

So – What EXACTLY is Kwanzaa?!?!?

Kwanza is a set of Principles used to govern our life.

the principles revolve around personal development and community development.

Following these principles will help us to lead happy, complete and fulfilled lives (not enslaved to a society that zaps our energy and depletes our soul, making us feel disempowered and weak)

Kwanza is a Celebration of Life!!!              

Each day is a day of reflection on how We can Spring Into Action to achieve unity, self determination, entrepreneurship, interconnective community, purpose, creativity and faith. Yes, this is a journey into your soul. Yes it is easy to write down and observe But the WORK is how we change our lives to live with Purpose.

I have embraced most of the principles of Kwanza and I AM NOW at the point of Action – you guessed it – Entrepreneurship (or Cooperative Economics). This is how we live with Purpose, how we turn those dreams into Reality. I AM so Excited about this year because this is my Creative Year. I Already Designed My Life and Now I AM ready to Build on the principles of self determination, purpose and faith to step into my Power.

Will You Join Me?

If You’re Already There, Will You Encourage Me?

Much Love,


I invite you to watch my YouTube video link on Kwanza (I promise I made it fun ☺♥)


Today is January 7, 2021, it is 3:13 a.m. and after 7 days I decided to “point-shoot-aim” (more on that later).

Today is my year to CREATE, my year for POWER. after a tumultuous 2020, in which I took the journey within, I ended the year on 12/31/2020 with one final lesson to learn, hey why the hell not – I’ve only been to hell and back? (I came back and that is the important thing) The final lesson I had to learn directly catapulted me into my POWER year, the year of the Creator, the year I finally move into where I want to be in my life, finally embrace my true passions and finally move toward fulfilling my goals now, not in “the future”.

The journey within was my reaction to the plandemic. you heard me right, the plandemic. no i didnt watch the movie (I don’t watch much tv), but it was a slogan prior to the movie being released, pegged by those who can see behind the curtain. I pegged that slogan, and so did many others (great minds think alike) and [i’m assuming it became some sort of hashtag or something because lo and behold a movie by the same name appeared]. I understood what time it was from within. I did not have to watch a movie or listen to anyone outside myself since this was all predicted long ago. Don’t think this blog is about separation or “us verses them” or arguing over who is right. it doesn’t matter who is right and there is no us v them. There is only “us”, ALL of “us” and we are all in this together. what is Right is what is Right for You, and that will look so differently from person to person. So many “rights” and they all have truth within them. Here is where Respect is necessary.

                       I want to take a few moments to thank every single person on this planet for being who you are. Even if you don’t appreciate yourself, I appreciate you. Whoever you are, you are a divine soul, you are beautiful (not perfect, but beautiful) in your own way and possess a light within you that, even if dimmed, is there nonetheless.  I hope this space can be a respite for each and every person, REGARDLESS of which “side” you are on (are there sides to the circle of humanity?), what your belief system is, what your perspective is, what your fears are, or where you place blame. I learned looooooog ago that no matter where we are in this world and no matter what we look like on the outside, we ALL WANT THE SAME THINGS. WE ALL want a measure of peace and happiness, WE ALL want to feel safe and secure, WE ALL want the ability to care for our Self (and most of us for our families) and WE ALL want to Enjoy our Life (that goes for animals too). How those things take shape in our lives will vary from person-to-person [to person] but RESPECT is where we begin to understand that if we work together we can ALL have the things that we want. ALL of us. There is enough to go around; more than enough. the caveat is: there is enough for each person’s need, but never enough for each person’s greed.

                       That being said, we all reacted differently to governments issuing a verbal “lockdown” worldwide. Many of us were planning for this all along instinctively living closer to the earth, or equal but opposite – becoming a “prepper” stacking up food and supplies and learning to fend for themselves (why is fending for oneself not a standard thing?), many of us were aware of what may likely come due to our respective paths we follow and many of us were completely blindsided by this. Regardless of any of this knowledge or lack of knowledge, I think it’s safe to say ‘you’re never ready’. Last year was a wakeup call for all of us to Get ready though. It’s time. Enough is enough of polluting our planet, enough is enough of senselessly murdering animals, enough is enough of externalizing our power to other people. It is enough and we are witnessing both the end and the beginning of something new on the Horizon.

And that is a Good Thing

                       This brings me to the journey within – this is the path I chose to take in reaction to external events. Yes, I freaked out like everyone else, but Im a researcher (and a searcher for truth in general) so I will do the thing I do which is to check the facts. And I checked and checked [and checked] all at the source of the information (I don’t do the news, I do whatever will hold up in a court of law) and I did not like what I found. And I was in a state of fear. fear of what to do. at some point I had to accept that everything I was seeing before my eyes, that I knew from within, and confirmed by .gov arenas was exactly what it was. no way out of it. it is here, it is now, it is happening (#this is happening) so what do I do? well what do I normally do? I normally solve problems not wallow in them. There’s only so much convincing that a circumstance exists before it is time to take action. I can’t fix outside (or can I?) but I do possess the power to find a way out. I can because I Always Have. I Always WILL. So I went searching inward for a way out and I found the way out. Along the way I had to go through the fire. I’ve been through the fire before – its never easy but it IS. So I went and along the way I found much help, much encouragement, armor, tools to help me along my journey and I accumulated as much as I could as often as I could (for me that was daily) and my Father helped me, our Father. It was not easy, but it Was. After all, Anything worth having is worth working for. I was given one final lesson right before the new year and then I was given ALL of my power back. Instantly. As soon as I learned that final lesson.

Which brings me to the following year/cycle/learning curve of my life. And it is Action. I know this in the same way I knew what time it was. It comes within. It is time to move forward, operative word “MOVE” which denotes Action ☺ and this is the year I CREATE. I already know my next few steps but ultimately the year is like a blank canvas. I AM very excited about this and I AM ready. I didn’t go through all that for nothing so I have to make it Mean Something.

Much LOVE to the Divine One, the Creator of ALL THINGS, YHWH

and to each of my human counterparts                                                                                             

Helping Others

I don’t really like speaking in front of large groups of people. Or small groups of people. I’ve had to do this a lot growing up and throughout school and work, etc. so I’m used to it and fairly okay at it, I just never jump up to immediately do it. I’m an introvert so it’s out of my comfort zone. At the same time, sometimes it’s just necessary.

                I joined a professional group at my job that helps the community. I thought this is a good thing. I work better behind the scenes though. Everyone was super cooperative so it was an easy group to work with. An email went out asking if someone would like to volunteer to hold a resume writing workshop at a local high school.

                Now, resumes are my thing. It’s what I do, quite well I might add. In fact, I used to specialize in writing resumes for people who had a difficult time finding a job. Whether there was a lack of experience, too much experience, experience that is all over the place, a resume that’s not getting results – those are the resumes I chose to work on because they presented a fun challenge for me. There is an art to designing a resume for people who have special needs. In fact, I called it a ‘resume design’. There is far more that goes into a resume design than just typing up whatever someone gives you. Anyone can do that. But creating a work of art from seemingly nothing? That takes skill. Anyway, not to bore you with the details because this is not about creating resumes.

                When the initial email went out it was to host a resume writing workshop for high school kids in a school-based youth services program. I was a high school kid who participated in the school based youth services program at my school many years ago. They still have that? I knew the unique challenges high school kids possessed when it came to getting a job and I thought I would be perfect for this assignment. Since I also had a home-based business at the time doing resumes I seemed like the obvious choice. However, I thought “…but I don’t like speaking in front of a crowd of people” so I deleted the email knowing full well that someone else would step up to the task. After all, anyone can write up a resume and teach someone the basics so I was sure someone else would volunteer. But could they guide them in the same ways I could? Probably not, but oh well. Delete.

                A second email went out with the same request. Not typical. No one volunteered? Was I supposed to volunteer? I was perfect for this assignment. I already had a resume writing business at home. Back in the day I was a broke teenager who needed to work. I was in the school-based youth services program at my high school. I understood the unique needs of teenage students looking for work. I was the best person for the job. But…ok. you know what? I don’t want to do this, but I know I’m the best person for the job. So I’ll leave it in God’s hands. If I am meant to do this workshop a third email (which never happened) will be sent out. Delete.

                A third email came. Phhht <sucks top lip>.

                I volunteered. It went great. I did that workshop for several years. I compiled a whole lesson plan consisting of two parts: how to write a resume and how to interview for a job – TEEN EDITION. The students were very appreciative and I was very glad I could help. I also realized the last time I went that I was very good at this. Not that I wanted to do it, but I wanted to fill a need. And sometimes the need to help and the Ability to Help is Far More Important than any shyness or discomfort you may feel in the process.

Another lesson learned.