Well, Social Media is “Social”…

Analytical Observations on posting on social media and the responses from others.

Inspired by a video I reposted on whether homosexuality was a choice and a separate video I watched on male circumcision & its appropriateness in our (american) society. The vlogger was very angry that male circumcision happens. He was circumcised, did Not circumcise his children but remained extremely angry that it exists, calling circumcision “chopping up a dick” and compared it to female genital mutilation (aka female circumcision).

I made a comment exploring the why (repetitive habit from an old custom) and a person’s personal choice and why it does not Need to be a big deal to be Uncircumcised save for “not fitting into society”. It is a personal choice and no one else’s business.

observations about others:

  1. people who are accustomed to being victimized – this is the go-to mind set. If I pose a question, and a person is sensitive to the TOPIC, they could respond defensively or negatively, without listening to the discussion because they Anticipate a negative response, even if there isn’t one. This requires sensitivity when responding.
  2. your vibe attracts your tribe. and there will always be resonance for either good or bad, positive or negative energy that is expressed.
  3. people do not read or do not read in its entirety.
  4. especially if a long comment is posted, people tend to react to the first sentence or two assuming they know what the entire paragraph says (could either be laziness or sensitivity and/or arguably just a defense for the person they agree with who posted the video).
  5. speculation surrounding if they actually have an opinion other than the one presented to them, or if because they like the person, they defend the person.
  6. when people are emotionally charged up that will create an environment where they become irrational, even make up your responses, that were never said, and assume your characteristics, that they have no idea about, simply because you didn’t Immediately agree, or had some other perspective that was rational. *I will add there is nothing wrong with being angry. We have emotions for a reason. However, uncontrolled anger, unseated anger, could cause us to be irrational, which keeps us stuck with no resolution to our problems.
  7. one person said I never experienced oppression (my picture is reflected next to my name) —– ok. I am well accustomed to stereotypes, but that is a new one, lol. First time for everything…
  8. there were only a few responses, maybe 8 or so in total including mine. my response had 3 negative responses (meaning they were very angry). there were a couple of other responses, all by men, except for one woman who also gave a rational, unbiased approach, to which I liked her comment. But I wondered if in general men have more male audience members and if females have more female audience members…just curious…and if those sexes are then reimagined in some way into “taking sides”. I wondered this because someone mentioned my being a woman, and assumed I had Disagreed, possibly based on the separation and dysfunction of the sexes as another factor.

observations about myself:

  1. do I typically post a comment disagreeing with someone? If I feel I need to speak my truth, yes. it is about equal. also I don’t post hot-headed responses, because how does that help anything?
  2. I was surprised at the negative responses, mainly because the orator was spiritual and I assumed the audience would be rational or open-minded. it was the kind of reaction I would expect elsewhere on social media, so that gave me food for thought.
  3. I was reminded that we all have different awarenesses and that our vibe attracts our tribe on Any and Every awareness level. It does NOT depreciate a person’s value or spirituality. Who can play God better than He Himself? So I will leave that to Him.
  4. I am grateful for a newfound community that I truly feel at home with. We have open, healthy discussions and are aware enough to understand that we all have different truths and everything is the all. we learn from each other.

I did not respond to any of the negative comments because it was not my page and what would I respond other than comments that would be sarcastic, lol, because the people with negative comments didn’t read mine in its entirety. The takeaway? My observations above. Would I do anything differently? No. I stand behind my words completely. They were balanced, open, practical from my perspective and left room for everyone to embrace who they are without judgement – if read in its entirety. As for the person who felt he was oppressed (his word, not mine), a forever victim because of societal judgment on Uncircumcised men, people who need approval from the masses will forever be victimized by that desire. At times we just need the right perspective, presented in the right way, by the right person for us as an individual. That video was definitely not that, it only fed into anger that “society” doesn’t accept things. My comment was also not that, probably too long for some people to bear. Maybe one day he-we-they- will find that perspective, and if open to it, assume it. Maybe not. That is part of the individual journey.

Conclusion: Social media represents the opinions of the masses, all of which are valid in their own eyes as seen and interpreted by the individual on their journey. My job as a respectful human being is to hold space for and to appreciate where everyone is on their path as I would want done to me.

Keep Rising

Keep Thriving

Keep Loving

the Power is in the People

Much Love,


Is CHEESE Racist?

there is a popular sub shop in central nj, so popular there are two locations. Occasionally I enjoy a good sub there and one of my favorites is a simple turkey and cheese. but not any cheese – yellow american, in particular, is my favorite combination with turkey. plain, simple, no frills, no lettuce, no tomatoes, just mayo, salt, pepper, turkey, cheese — yellow cheese.

                over the course of years, every time I go to this sub shop there is no yellow american cheese, only white american cheese and white american just doesn’t have the flavor profile that I enjoy with turkey. Now I love all cheese, a lot. A whole lot. But I don’t care for white american because it doesn’t really taste like anything. maybe I’ve never had white american cheese on the appropriate food item to bring out its (in my opinion) rather bland flavor? Who knows? Either way, because it doesn’t enhance anything for me, I don’t include it on anything. So there we have it.

                after years of settling for an uninspiring turkey sandwich from this sub shop, the next time I went there I told myslef, ‘You know, every time I come here they never have yellow american cheese and I don’t want to settle anymore because I really want what I want. So, if they don’t have it – again – I’m not coming here anymore’. I figured they just always ran out and by the time I got there they were out of it. Even though I always went in the afternoon around lunch time? But I never really thought that deeply about it.

                so I enter the sub shop, wait my turn, ask for a turkey and yellow american cheese and they told me, as usual, they only have white american. So I asked, ‘are you OUT of it?’ to which the woman said “We only have white american”, so me trying to understand why the deli place doesn’t have yellow cheese, which I thought was the most basic cheese there is, I questioned further… ‘I really want turkey with yellow american. Do you EVER have yellow american cheese in stock? to which she replied “We only have white american”.


actually it took me back like that guy eating his favorite childhood dish from the movie Ratatouille, only I didn’t flash back to a happy place in my childhood, I flashed back to a scene from the comedic movie “Life” with Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence: “White Only Pies”

“These are white only pies” a woman told the duo who walked into a diner where negroes were not welcome.

“We only have white american”

…*sigh*…. really? are we doing this? this is what we’ve come to? what, yellow cheese is too “asian” for you? [I didn’t say any of this, nor did I feel slighted since I live in a thriving food district]

so I said ‘oh I really wanted yellow, oh well thanks’….and left

thanks but no thanks. you know, I’m perfectly fine spending my money someplace a little more “cheese friendly”.

from the movie: ‘’Well how far is the nearest rest stop? … 35 miles!”

well I don’t live in a remote place in the country so I don’t have to go 35 miles to get to the nearest deli shop, maybe 2, so I’m very thankful I have options.

                i believe we’re better than this. I have noticed sometimes black people going a little too far perhaps with “black everything” in an effort to appreciate our culture even more…black car, black clothes, black on black on black. While to each his own, I know we can appreciate our respective cultures without bringing food and other inanimate items into the equation…cant we? I mean why does cheese have to suffer? Isn’t yellow cheese American too? I mean asserting your power with white on white on white….lawdy. oh lawdy. oh well, I guess if black people can do it…..

i think we (humans) are just a wee bit sensitive once we start bringing colored items into the equation. maybe we’re just a little sensitive, once we start claiming all “black” items that exist in the world as ours and white people start claiming all “white” items that exist in the world as theirs.

i mean with that philosophy they must love when it snows, because I guess that means they have God’s blessing since its snowing “white” from the heavens…

and a black person could argue “Well God blesses us every single night with a black sky but now the white people try to take whats rightfully ours by infusing our black sky with white star light…

yes, im being facetious

and I really, really hope no one is offended by the references above

because I do not want to offend anyone. I honor everyone in love

But sometimes we just have to laugh at our own behavior.

I desire us all to be a little less sensitive.

and its not just because I want a good turkey and cheese sammich.

its because if we can stop looking outside of ourselves for “power” and “justice”

and we begin to look within ourselves at the power we already possess within our God Given dna,

we will be so much happier

because that is where our power lies

within each and every one of us

and within our unity together

Much love to all of the white people and all of the black people who feel the need to surround themselves with colored items to define their self-worth and value.

I see you, I value you and I love you. you are truly powerful, no matter what shade of cheese you are.

#onelove, #onehumanity, #thepowerisinthepeople

P.S. I invite you to take the journey within by listing 5 things you absolutely LOVE about yourself and just One step you can take to improve your own life. We are both the Masterpiece and the Work In Progress At the Same Time. Let’s work on Progress Together ♥

Toilet Tales – A Social Experiment

Rules, Rules and More Rules

Rules are necessary and helpful. They allow us to live more comfortably as a society since, let’s face it, but for the ramifications of crime there would probably be more people commiting them.

Be that as it may, sometimes we become so stuck on following rules that practicality, logic, and common sense go out the window <Milgram Experiment, ahem>.

So when is it ok to bend the rules?



Rules do maintain a certain level of order and peace so if everyone went around breaking them none of us would be very happy for long. But in a world full of colorful nuances and colorful people, is it safe to say that in Most cases rules should be followed but sometimes there are exceptions to the rule?

Like when your wife is in labor and you’re trying to get her to the hospital as safely – and expediently – as possible. Its late at night and no cars are around. Do you speed?

Or when you desire to cross a typically busy street but in this moment there are no cars in sight – but the light for you is red. Do you cross anyway?

So in keeping with these dilemmas that could send us reeling into philosocical territories unknown: How would YOU handle the following (this is just a social experiment):

There is a Unisex lockerroom at work. There are two bathrooms located at one end of the Unisex locker room. One of the bathrooms is marked |Male| on the wall and the other bathroom is marked |female|. Both bathrooms accomodate 2 people, have a private stall and door inside and have a locking mechanism on the main door as well as the inside door.

[For clarification for those who need it: The male bathroom has 2 urinals and a large private stall with a door and a lock. The outter main door locks so you could be the only one in the bathroom if you desire. The female bathroom has two private stalls with a door and a lock. The outer main door locks so you could be the only one in the bathroom if you desire.]

Both bathrooms are clean, in fact the male one is always cleaner than the female one, dispelling all the stereotypes.

YOU are a woman who has to go to the bathroom really, really badly BUT the female one is occupied and the door is locked.

The male bathroom is wide open, clean and there are no men to be found in this moment in this Unisex lockerroom space.

Your body is responding in one way.; your brain is responding in another.

The only thing standing in the way of your liberation is your state of mind.

What do you do?

Nothing is either good or bad but Thinking makes it so…

Do the Carebear Countdown

Last year sometime as I was cleaning house, I came across my gun application that I never filled out. For more than 2 decades (you know I havent aged past 32) I wanted a gun but last year – of all years – I decided I no longer wanted a gun. I was shocked myself, lol. But I realized that in order to redirect negative energies I had to Not be a part of that energetic flow.

The response to fear on Either side, the ‘Eager Beavers’ just waiting for an opportunity to discharge their unresolved emotions on society and the ‘Reactors’ who say “Oh yeah? Well if you come for me Im comin for you”  (I used to be a Reactor) set the stage for a showdown I did not want to participate in or encourage with my energies.

And yes I also realized the Puppeteers were pulling their puppet strings. You see, they dont care which side you’re on, as long as your fighting each other. Either way they win and we are the only ones to lose

This does not mean I feel guns are necessarily bad, Nor do I ascribe owners of guns to be bad people. I still believe in All rights, including the right to own a gun. What I pay attention to is the ENERGY behind the gun. For me, never having hunted for my own food nor wanting to practice just for the sake of sharp shooting And having zero fears surrounding Responsible gun ownership, my energy in wanting a gun was never positive energy nor was my idea of using it.

I think there’s a reason why I procrastinated all those years (I mean I literally downloaded new forms like every 5 years) and it wasn’t because I was scared, because I Never was.

I doubt I would have gotten rid of it too if I owned one, so Everything happens for a reason and I’m thankful for that. I also feel the Power of Controlling my emotions and moving with the flow of the universe (I always had a nose for the economic pulse). Where awareness goes, Energy flows, does it not?

I Respect the freedom for each person to make their own decision without judgement. For me, its the Exact same reason why I dont litter. I just dont want to live in that world so I won’t be a part of the problem and Ill definitely Not be controlled by the powers that be.

The picture below, of an All Lives Matter protestor and a Black Lives Matter protestor, was taken last year, I think, but Ill Never forget it. Two things happened here: 1. The guy BEing hugged was hyped up on negative energies, not even realizing why he was so angry, he admitted. The Hugger, Felt something in him told him this guy just needs a HUG, lol. And so it was.

If negative energy flows our way, we dont Have to hop on and go for a ride. We Can dodge it completely, bounce and rock with it, try to wrestle with it or… we can Transmute it. Isn’t that what the Care Bears Stare taught us? [throwback to the 80s] When things get bad enough, we don’t get mad, we get Determined! Determined to transmute the unwanted thing into something wanted by infusing our Love Energy with it. They locked arms, they Focused, they Concentrated their Attention and Did the Care Bear Stare! Countdown…5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Just a cartoon you say….well….

Yes, this was a fine representation of transmuting negative energy into Positive energy. Look at the crowds on either side spurring them on, bouncing and rocking until the THING just Squashed Both Sides.

What was the THING that is Powerful Enough to Overcome ALL of the Tension in the Crowd that day?

THAT is who We Are and THAT is the world I want to live in.

Much Love,

the Challenge: Be the Change

#bethechange, #bethechangeyouwanttoseeintheworld

I ‘Culturally Appropriated’ KWANZAA

What EXACTLY IS KWANZAA?!?! I pondered this question for years. I heard Kwanzaa was this “black” holiday but I’d never heard of it before and I didn’t know anyone else who did. No one seemed to know what it was, just something for “black people”. I tried and tried to understand it but there was some kind of mental block. I would sit down to start reading about Kwanzaa and the next thing I knew I was done reading and when I tuned back in, I had no idea what Kwanza was <smh>. I even saw a movie on Kwanza once but the guy in the movie was so cute I just remember him. Still didn’t know what Quanza was. So I set out, as I often do, to discover EXACTLY WHY I could not comprehend what this holiday was all about…

     I gathered some info on Kwanza and set out to reading…

BOOOR-ING. snooze city. I was completely disinterested. I didn’t know what this was and it was boring, so I decided to learn about the founder instead.

Dr. Maulana Karenga (he has a doctorate in political science and in social ethics) developed this holiday as a way for american black people to pull away from american white culture and to have a holiday all their own. Some people feel like its “made up” – well Every holiday is “made up”. Made up just means people “made up” their mind to observe a given tradition from this point forward. Anyway, grossly disenfrachised from the wicked schemes against people of color in the 60’s (and before and after the 60s) there was a desire to disconnect from white society and to embrace our own holiday with its own traditions. In a nutshell that’s why it was founded.

HOWEVER, in keeping with the breaking away from white cultural hand me downs like names and religion, Dr. Karenga incorporated African language (specifically Swahili) and African foods and customs into the holiday to really make the point that we want to be separate from white america. its best for us to move forward with our own cultural vision of what our life should look like rather than deal with the put-upon social norms of a society that keeps blacks looking to whites for acceptance and never getting it.

Ok. motive established – a noble one.

I went back to learning about Kwanza with “FOCUS-FOCUS-FOCUS” in mind and I read the first day of Kwanza is Umoji..snooooooooooooze…AHA!!!!HA!!!Ahaha!!! that’s it !!! Caught myself fallin asleep again! I don’t know what “umoji” is and I’m not really interested in learning that language so Immediately I was lulled to sleep. OK! Allright. Umoji. Not working for me. Problem established. But how do I learn what Kwanza is?

Why not take out all the African language so its more clear to me and I don’t feel like I’m in a bad school classroom. So I took out umoji (which incidentally is swahili for unity) and I was left with the exact name of each of the 7 days of Kwanza:

day 1 – unity

day 2 – self determination

day 3 – cooperative economics

day 4 – collective work and responsibility

day 5 – purpose

day 6 – creativity

day 9 – faith

ok. makin progress here. I’m actually interested in these concepts. so I read about each one and I said ‘This is wonderful’ this is terrific! what’s all these colors and the other foreign stuff? And I began to replace the foods, attire and even the colors with my own culture’s food and observances. After all, the holiday is for “us” right? so why not make it more “us-relatable”.

I even changed the colors of “Africa” black, red, green with my corresponding preferred colors of choice: brown (for Earth), pink (for Love) and Sage green (because its just a peaceful color man). Now the colors that were chosen by Dr. Karenga have special meaning HOWEVER they did not have special meaning for me. For example, I acknowledge and hold dear the sacrifices my ancestral heritage afforded me – ALL of my ancestral heritage (not just the african part) but that does not mean I want the color red to remind me of people whose blood was shed. I prefer to learn about afro-american history and to enjoy my life and give back to my community as a means of expressing my understanding of where I came from. So I chose the color pink because if there is ONE thing among many, many things that I learned in Afro American history class, it was that the enslaved black people of the americas were filled with LOVE. L.O. V. E. Love for each other, Love for their life and Love for God. Filled to the BRIM. They made the BEST out of the WORST in every way, True Alchemists, Brilliant, Intelligent, Savvy, Caring and Resilient as a Mother-Fkr and I Love and Admire them for that. And that is how I choose to remember them, In All their Beauty, in All their Glory. It is that Love that runs through my veins today, that Strength, that Resiliency. And I am Blessed to have come from them. They paved the way for me, for us.

So Basically I culturally appropriated Kwanza into something I could relate to, something more in line with my own existing culture, not the culture I wish I was, but what I actually am right here, right now. That is american, not african, english-speaking not swahili speaking and um you don’t really expect me to give up soul food RIGHT? So instead of african food (I’m sure its yummy) but my culture’s food has special meaning for me. For example, hoe cakes, white pancake-shaped corn meal rounds cooked on a hoe because the slaves did not have pots, has more meaning for me because #1 they’re really good and #2 the resiliency tho…

So this Kwanza thing was working out – on paper anyway. I thought these principles were wonderful! I thought EVERYONE should celebrate Kwanza because this is how we should ALL be living – in accordance with these values. Truly Kwanza is a celebration of LIFE!!! and how we can enjoy it.

So – What EXACTLY is Kwanzaa?!?!?

Kwanza is a set of Principles used to govern our life.

the principles revolve around personal development and community development.

Following these principles will help us to lead happy, complete and fulfilled lives (not enslaved to a society that zaps our energy and depletes our soul, making us feel disempowered and weak)

Kwanza is a Celebration of Life!!!              

Each day is a day of reflection on how We can Spring Into Action to achieve unity, self determination, entrepreneurship, interconnective community, purpose, creativity and faith. Yes, this is a journey into your soul. Yes it is easy to write down and observe But the WORK is how we change our lives to live with Purpose.

I have embraced most of the principles of Kwanza and I AM NOW at the point of Action – you guessed it – Entrepreneurship (or Cooperative Economics). This is how we live with Purpose, how we turn those dreams into Reality. I AM so Excited about this year because this is my Creative Year. I Already Designed My Life and Now I AM ready to Build on the principles of self determination, purpose and faith to step into my Power.

Will You Join Me?

If You’re Already There, Will You Encourage Me?

Much Love,


I invite you to watch my YouTube video link on Kwanza (I promise I made it fun ☺♥)

We Learn By Helping Others

I don’t really like speaking in front of large groups of people. Or small groups of people. I’ve had to do this a lot growing up and throughout school and work, etc. so I’m used to it and fairly okay at it, I just never jump up to immediately do it. I’m an introvert so it’s out of my comfort zone. At the same time, sometimes it’s just necessary.

                I joined a professional group at my job that helps the community. I thought this is a good thing. I work better behind the scenes though. Everyone was super cooperative so it was an easy group to work with. An email went out asking if someone would like to volunteer to hold a resume writing workshop at a local high school.

                Now, resumes are my thing. It’s what I do, quite well I might add. In fact, I used to specialize in writing resumes for people who had a difficult time finding a job. Whether there was a lack of experience, too much experience, experience that is all over the place, a resume that’s not getting results – those are the resumes I chose to work on because they presented a fun challenge for me. There is an art to designing a resume for people who have special needs. In fact, I called it a ‘resume design’. There is far more that goes into a resume design than just typing up whatever someone gives you. Anyone can do that. But creating a work of art from seemingly nothing? That takes skill. Anyway, not to bore you with the details because this is not about creating resumes.

                When the initial email went out it was to host a resume writing workshop for high school kids in a school-based youth services program. I was a high school kid who participated in the school based youth services program at my school many years ago. They still have that? I knew the unique challenges high school kids possessed when it came to getting a job and I thought I would be perfect for this assignment. Since I also had a home-based business at the time doing resumes I seemed like the obvious choice. However, I thought “…but I don’t like speaking in front of a crowd of people” so I deleted the email knowing full well that someone else would step up to the task. After all, anyone can write up a resume and teach someone the basics so I was sure someone else would volunteer. But could they guide them in the same ways I could? Probably not, but oh well. Delete.

                A second email went out with the same request. Not typical. No one volunteered? Was I supposed to volunteer? I was perfect for this assignment. I already had a resume writing business at home. Back in the day I was a broke teenager who needed to work. I was in the school-based youth services program at my high school. I understood the unique needs of teenage students looking for work. I was the best person for the job. But…ok. you know what? I don’t want to do this, but I know I’m the best person for the job. So I’ll leave it in God’s hands. If I am meant to do this workshop a third email (which never happened) will be sent out. Delete.

                A third email came. Phhht <sucks top lip>.

                I volunteered. It went great. I did that workshop for several years. I compiled a whole lesson plan consisting of two parts: how to write a resume and how to interview for a job – TEEN EDITION. The students were very appreciative and I was very glad I could help. I also realized the last time I went that I was very good at this. Not that I wanted to do it, but I wanted to fill a need. And sometimes the need to help and the Ability to Help is Far More Important than any shyness or discomfort you may feel in the process.

Another lesson learned.